What Not to Wear: Military Ball Edition

That time is upon us: it's ball season!!! This is our third ball, but our first since 2009. My husband has been deployed for the last two so this year we're more excited to go, plus it's probably our last at this duty station so we want to leave in style ;) The Marine Corps Ball, like any other ball, is a very formal event. It celebrates the birthday of the Marine Corps, there's a lot of ceremony involved. The oldest and youngest Marines cut the cake, a lot of people make oorah speeches, there's a lot of standing at attention for the Marines. It might be a party, but there is a lot of respect for the occasion that goes along with that.

Our first ball happened to land on the day we went to the courthouse to get married, back in 2008. It was awesome, a huge wedding reception without us having to shell out a dime (except for tickets lol)! The food was great, the free drinks were a nice perk, and it was a great opportunity for me to meet a lot of the people my new husband worked with.
Even though it was my first, by tapping into my common sense I knew that my mouth was to be kept shut during the ceremonies. It wasn't hard to do, I didn't want to do anything to make my husband look bad. Keep that in mind: your behavior directly reflects your SO. Not just at the ball, everywhere. I also knew that my dress should be conservative, I'm just that kind of person naturally. I'm modest in my dress even when I'm dressing up, so finding a modest gown is never a problem for me. When we got there, I found it hard not to keep my jaw off the floor and not in a good way. I was so shocked at what some of the women chose to wear, even more shocked that their escorts accepted their form of dress. I'm not talking about a dress above the knee or a loud color (although, someone was wearing a skin tight, floor length lime green dress...doesn't really compliment the Dress Blues uniform, does it?). I'm talking about women who looked as if they'd be more comfortable on the street corner than in a ballroom. Dresses that end barely below the butt cheeks seem to be the fad now, but that seems more like club wear to me. Prom dresses these days are styled showing a lot more skin than when I was in high school (class of '01!). A lot of spaghetti straps, criss-crossing, backless, bare midriffs. These types of dresses scream sexy, but when you're going to a military ball you also need to dress respectably.

Think about it like this, do you want to be talked about? Gawked at? Do you want people whispering behind their hands when they see you? Thinly disguised disgust at the outline and color of your thong clearly showing in your sheer gown? Because it'll happen. Be the girl that shows up wearing a tight fitting, ruched hot pink dress that shows the under-curve of your ass, and everyone's going to be talking about you. And it's not going to be favorable. They're going to look at your dress, pass the judgement on you, then pass judgement on your escort for letting you come like that. You might be the most wonderful person in the world, but if you dress like a high priced hooker no one's going to see past that. Get this: EVERYONE is going to be there. Every person in your escort's unit is going to be there, Commanding Officer, Executive Officer, his direct higher-ups, NCOs, even the ones below him will be there, the ones who he's supposed to be the example for. You might not meet his CO, but there's still a chance that you might. And do you really want to meet him/her looking like it's 2am at the club? No, the answer is no.

Definitely avoid these looks (photos courtesy of military.com):

I'm sure there will be some women saying, "I can dress however I want, I don't care what anyone says." You know what, that's true. We have the right to wear whatever we want as long as we don't go around naked in public, there's definitely a law against that. Someone might say, "Why should you care so much about what someone else wears? It's not your problem." Nope, it's not. The only reason I say anything is to save anyone from embarrassing situations. But choosing to dress respectably at a military ball is always going to be the best road to take. You, whether you like it or not, are a direct reflection of your SO/escort. Dressing in the proper attire gives off the impression that you understand the solemnity of the occasion and that you're not trying to be the center of attention, because it's not about you. It's about the Marine Corps and every Marine far and wide. Dress to compliment yourself and your escort, it's not difficult to find dresses that work. Bases even host ball gown giveaway events, so you can get a dress for free. There are websites where you can rent dresses if your budget is tight. Save the short dress for your SO's eyes only, because there are going to be a lot of people there that don't want a glimpse of your goods every time you get up from your chair or bend over. At the end of the day, you need to respect the occasion. Put aside the dress that's better off as a belt and pick something else :)

PS-Just a few more tips from military.com

1. Lingerie is not clothing

2. Equally unfitting is the dress that says “I’m showing more skin than I’m covering.”  Because y’all, it’s not actually more sexy.  Nor is it flirtingly cute.  Also, it looks particularly chilly in all those super-air-conditioned venues that accommodate our decked-out spouses in their blues.  And the ones who are actually looking are the other dates.  Us.  And what we’re doing might be more adequately described as staring.

3. Equally confusing are the dresses that look like you finally bought the dress your mother wouldn’t allow you to wear to the prom and your father said “over my dead body.”  You know the one.

4. And – last but not least – is the dress that makes you wince because every time she moves, you see her thong.